Hello! It’s the first time I dare to write a comment.
It’s a very sad weekly letter. Our world is a very competitive one and on a dark day someone can do something crazy. Sometimes, parents pressurize their children and then, when these children grow up and realize that they can’t be what their parents wanted them to,be they get depressed. All of us must have the chance to live our life and do what we are able to. Isn’t it better to be a good carpenter than a bad lawyer? Anyway, nowadays, it’s more difficult to find a carpenter to do a repair at home than to find a lawyer. There are hundreds!

Hello Donald,
Happiness and Success, I see them as two different matters, but I also see a tiny connection between them. We sometimes take success as a decaff happiness, let me explain it.
For me, the main difference between happiness and success is that happiness comes from within and sucess comes from external appobation from others.
We depend on others to be successful, and the way to success is known by everyone in our society. We just have to follow some simple social rules to get there: be rich, buy expensive cars, have a big house, wear brand names, etc. On the other hand, does anybody know how to reach happiness?
We often feel emptyness and its hard to find the meaning of life but, are we filling the internal space with the right things? We try not to think too much about it, just in case we get depressed or something.
By the way, what is happiness?
Best regards!
Cristina

Success, successful, “arriving,� achieving, achiever… barbaric words of the mercenaries and the Philistines who worship Mammon and measure happiness by such things as square meters, horsepower, number of “subordinates�… in places like where I’m from, even number of people, such as “poorer relatives� and relatives of relatives, who owe you a favour because you’ve “done better� and they owe you their lives…
We ought to limit the use of the word “success� to the ad hoc. Examples:
I was successful in cooking the rice without scalding the bottom layer.
He succeeded in cracking the egg without wetting his hand.
They were a success in keeping the children quiet.

Without a doubt, the best Weekly Letter I have ever read…and I am very demanding….the only thing I would disagree with is now that I am a parent…”being pushy” and “discipline” are sometimes synonymous and are certainly not dangerous, but necessary for the happiness of your child. Too much of anything is dangerous…I think that’s what you meant right?
GREAT ARTICLE! I was sorry to see Stephen go like that… and it reminds us of others who have gone down that same road that ends up in a dead end…literally. The loss of values, religion, etc. leads to unhappiness – that’s why we see so much of it in our world today. Congratulations on a great article!

Hello Dónal,
it’s my first aportation to this website.
I like very much your article, it makes you think about the important things of our lifes. It’s a pity that somebody makes a mistake as bigger as Stephen made.
We run so fast and it’s like we don’t have time to think and enjoy ourselves with quiet moments.
We must stop sometimes and thing about how beatiful is our life, with or without success, but always plenty of happiness. That’s what I want for my children.

A very sad letter. Poor young Stephen. Nothing is worth death. Life is a present. You can get your personal success, nobody can say what is your way, it belongs only to you. Poor boy and poor family.

Hello Dónal,
Certainly a very sad weekly letter full of matters we should consider in our daily life. We live in a very demanding Society, unfortunately we’ve created a world where you’ re worth as much as you earn, what a pity!! Throughout our existence we’ve insisted in depending more and more on material possessions: a bigger house, a bigger car, a more important job… We’re fools. Every time there’s a horrible catastrophe in Asia, India, Africa, people loosing their homes, surrounded by chaos and death, you can see the survivors smiling, feeling grateful because they’re alive, their dearest ones safe, not considering what they have lost but what they still have. I think you’re right, that’s the only way of being happy, wanting what you have not what your neightbour has.
Bye,
Paloma

Good afternoon everybody!!
I agree with you.
I think the Stephen’s matter and our problem in general is that We always want to do everything very quickly. We want to finish our studies for working, We want finish our work for having free time, for earning money…
We don’t enjoy our life. We measure everything: the time, the reports we are going to read at work, our degrees, our work with the annual bonus…That is the reason of our stress.
We need to enjoy the life at any time, each situation….
Bye

Success is living happy feeling pleasure with what you are doing.
Life is really short to waste it doing all you don’t want to do. All of us, parents, teachers and the Society should to change our mind and to promote different values from earning money.

Re Dónal’s ante-antepenultimate (ie, last but three, or fourth from last) paragraph… I think part of the problem lies in the dichotomy that is made between “doctors, bankers, and judgesâ€? on one hand, and “poets, singers, and mysticsâ€? on the other. The dichotomy between…say, “practical peopleâ€? on one hand, and…say, “decadent aesthetesâ€? or “precious sophisticatesâ€? on the other, is one of my pet themes so I have a mouthful to say on this, but I’ll just say here that I like doctors, bankers, and judges who are also poets, singers, and mystics. And maybe now we can get down to specifics. My father was a banker. My siblings (=sisters and brothers) and I, for a while and in more ways than one, suffered the pressures of “helicopter parentingâ€? or whatever it’s called, but none of us followed in his footsteps. We ended up in museums, publishing, education, theatre, anything but banking. It’s important to let our children seek studies and employment in fields that intersect with their personal interests. And when such intersection is not possible, simply pursue their personal interests in a rich inner life.

Hi everyone!
It’s very sad the letter you wrote this week but the sadest is to think that the most important matter in the life of Stephen was the studies, Hadn’t he nothing better to continue living?, family, friends, ....
Of course, the education is necesary but more important is the respect, honesty, we will never forget.
At least I hope the rest of the students and people who knows Stephen had learnt the lesson.
When the death pass so near of us it makes we must enjoy all the rest of our lives, we mustn’t to throw away the monday to friday 15.00.

Sad, yes, obviously death is sad; I think that goes without saying. Well, most of the time death is sad.
We don’t know what values Stephen had. Perhaps he was deeply religious. The only information that we have about him is that he was under pressure because of his exams. An overbearing parent, perhaps?
I am of the more lax group of students who studies little and at the last moment and then gasps at the sight of a poor grade, indignant of the system that has clearly failed me. Throw myself off a building? Never.
As Doris Day said, “Qué será será, whatever will be will be…”
P.S. This all reminds me a bit of Capitan Ahab. If we concentrate too much on the goal and forget to lead life in the meantime, we can end up with a whale of a problem.

All things ( even good things) taken beyond their limits are negative. Drinking a glass of water is one of the healthiest things you can do but if you drink 100 glasses in a row you’ll probably die. I think the same happens with competitiveness. It makes you improve and it is not bad as far as you don’t make it a goal itself. I think we have to teach our children that they have to work hard to achieve what they want. But also that if they fail this is not the end of the world and that life has lots of roads to walk. But you have to be alive to find them.
JC

Do you remind a film titled “Dead poet’s society”? I remembered it while reading this letter, and I thought deeply in its main lesson: “Carpe diem”.
From my point of view, this is the right definition for happiness. We should not wait for happiness to arrive suddenly, but learn to find it in every single event of our lives.
What is the most happy moment in your life? Most people I ask this question think about family events (wedding days, son’s or daughter’s birthdays, and so on) rather than in professional moments. Do you agree with them?
So, what is the relation between professional success and happiness?
From my point of view, we should enjoy daily family events in order to get real happiness.

Which reminds me of a toast my son delivered in May last year. It went something like this:
‘One day, Napoleon was relaxing with his generals and they asked him what the happiest day in his life had been. And they thought he would name a great battle won, or perhaps the day he was crowned emperor (and Josephine empress). But no. His answer was: “Gentlemen, the happiest day of my life was the day I received my First Communion.� ‘
(I had picked this up from James Joyce’s “Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man.�)
At this point, Oscar, standing on a chair, raised his glass of H20 and said, “Thank you, Family, for sharing this beautiful day with me.�

It is a very sad article. Unfortunately life is a “rat race” for a lot people: You don’t succeed if you are not the best or if you are not on the top.
There is a saying:
a person who has got more isn’t happier than a person who needs less.
If everybody knew and accepted this saying, we’d live in a better world, for sure
Regards
Gerardo

Donal,
Fortunately, not everybody goes through the same kind of experience you went through. To see someone in the act of commiting suicide, to support him in his last minutes of life, to hold his hand while watching him depart… it really must have been a turning point in your and Helen’s lives.
I am sure that Stephen was really glad to have landed close to you. He would have felt even more wretched had be been all alone.
Paola

Hello Donal,
What a heartbreaking story but yes, it’s a reminder for all of us to meet our problems squarely. Any problem can be viewed as not so hard as it may seem to be should Stephen made a way to regard it as a challenge or an opportunity.
When things seem to stumble along our way, it would be great to remember this tip:
“It’s not WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU that matters most. It’s how YOU THINK ABOUT what happens to you …”
Cheers!
Dessie
http://dessie.wordpress.com

Hello this is Reyes !
I have just read this article; I think that is lamentable that nowadays these absurd deaths still happen, We must to appear to live the life whithout to try to be the best, if this supposes us a suffering.
I think that to have uan calm life, to live in harmony with the nature and the family and friends is the most important thing. To have the sufficient thing for happy and to enjoy the family and friends.
Let’s not forget us ourselves and if we are well, we will infect all those that surround us.
Sorry for my english, I’m studing in this moment and I would like to learn more for to can in the future speak with fluency.
see you soon !!